Cmdr. James Bond | 007

So I was watching the telly earlier, which is very bad for you by the way, and the channel got stuck on "MTV" — It didn't really get stuck I'm just saying that, but then again you already knew that and well if you didn't...

Right. Any how. After the numerous pointless shows of attractive ditzy blondes arguing, they actually played music videos, much to my surprise. And I have to admit I cannot recall a time when I was as utterly confused as I was when I was watching a Lady Gaga video.

I.. really still do not know if I was turned on by it or if I thought it was completely bizarre. Muting it actually made it worse. The French was a nice attempt at redemption and seeming passionate and sexy but.. just... no.

Is there common protocol for buying groceries in America that I'm unaware of? I simply asked the woman how much a bushel of apples were and she stormed off with her nose in the air like I'd commented on her brazier.

On a much lighter note; I've finally returned from my business elsewhere. Don't you love how vague that was?

Miss Mars, would you care to explain that when I turned my car on just now I was subjected to a very large plume of confetti accompanied by a very loud techno song?

My only hope for tonight is that Miss Moneypenny hasn't forgotten to send my clothes along this time. I would dread having to acquire a new wardrobe from The Gap.

I cannot express, how ridiculously funny that is. Clearly, I am spending too much time on the internet. I need to put this phone down. Or the martini.

Have you ever tried opening a melted Starburst? Nearly impossible.. And there's an absolutely gorgeous woman sitting over at one of the tables, not looking very intrigued by her date might I add. May have to step in, save her from boredom.

This alone is proof that there are indeed, fabulous women in this place. Veronica and Savannah you don't count in the hot women tally because, well it's bloody obvious. (But feel free to participate.)

Know what? I demand to be proven there are hot women here.

eta; got that woman's #

Really? An MI6 Chief on Facebook? Firstly, what is a facebook, and secondly, how did that happen? What a ponce. Any way.. Hurt my knee yesterday. That wasn't one spot of fun. Felt better this morning so I went to the market. All was well until it gave out. Bloody embarassing that was. Ah well, a day or two more I suppose.

I think Felix should get one of these here journal things. They're quite addicting. And that's saying something given the only things I'm addicted to are; alcohol, cigarettes, and women.

And there is nothing on television but Craig Ferguson.

Are you fucking bloody kidding me?

My flat looks ridiculously juvenile. I've got fucking Nemo on my bed. Even my toothbrush was replaced! Where are my bed sheets and toothbrush?

I mean honestly. I've chatted with maybe six people today. And I'm rather sure I didn't make that horrible of an impression at the bar that they decided to quick swing 'round to my flat and change it all up before I arrived home.

And is the creepy/pathetically ugly goldfish really necessary? I want to put it out of its misery just because I feel embarrassed enough for it.

There are three suspects, and only three. M whom I hung up on twice with, but this is a little overboard for her - the woman on the cleaning staff whose ass I smacked on my way out this morning - and Veronica Mars.

I shall have to sleep on it; literally and figuratively speaking.

Oh I hate M. I really, really hate M.
Kansas. It couldn't have been Nevada or California, or even Florida. It had to be bloody Kansas. What is there to do in Kansas?

I need to get a hold of Felix.

Does anyone know where I could find a tailor? And a bar.. Actually does anyone still read these things? Can't remember the last time I did this..

If anyone sees an Aston Martin DB 9 being unloaded let me know. And don't touch it.

( gadgets. )

( Another player with the slick trigger finger for Her Majesty )

( SPAM/ANON/NUDES )